This past week our family entered a new journey with my dad. We reached out to Hospice of Murray County to help bring comfort to him as his body is tired and just worn out. He has been a wonderful dad to six of us siblings, and a faithful and loving husband to our mom for 71 years. Wow, that amount of time is hard for me to wrap my head around! A lifetime of love and giving to us all. As we sit with him and try to do any little thing that will bring him some relief or ease for the moment, there are many memories that run through our minds.
Over the last few years since I retired from teaching, I have been volunteering for Hospice. Sometimes at a client’s home, other times at the Hospice House itself. No matter where or how I observe the team of hospice nurses, aides, social worker, or other employees, I see compassion and patience poured out into family lives. As they will tell you, they are there for the patient, but also for the whole family involved. I have seen it, felt it, and been immersed in it.
Hospice does not mean giving up hope, but it means choosing comfort and quality of life as a priority. Needed support is provided so that pain and uncomfortable symptoms can be relieved. But it is really more than just controlling the pain. It is help for all involved to manage each day with the person they love. It has been interesting to watch and interact with families involved with hospice. Some sit quietly nearby and talk or read to their loved one. Others come and play cards with them or just sit out on the patio to soak up the sun. Some come and share meals to make the days more meaningful to the one in hospice care.
Hospice care comes in a variety of places. They go into private homes to help families care for their loved one. We have experienced their help and presence in Maple Lawn with our dad. Or there is a place for four residents at Our House in Slayton. If you have never been there, I would encourage you to stop by and see what our area has to offer. It is beautiful and serene, but more than that, it provides dignity and a restful place for those who need the services offered. Those who work there are more than willing to explain and show you what hospice can give for your family.
One other way that I volunteer for hospice is to write thank you notes to those who so generously give monetary donations for Hospice of Murray County. When I began doing this about a year ago, I was amazed at the number of people who choose to support this organization. As you would expect, many families that have loved ones cared for give out of love and gratitude. However, many more simply give because they realize what a great blessing it is to have this opportunity right here in our midst.
If you are looking for a way to use your time or energies, I would strongly encourage you to call Hospice of Murray County and ask how you can volunteer. You will be blessed for being there for someone else in need. In the coming weeks it will be time for the yearly rummage sale at the Murray County Fairgrounds. This is a large fundraiser for Hospice, and it takes many willing hands to get it ready and run the sale smoothly. You are needed….can you help? If you are interested, call Joanne at 836-8114.
We’ve seen some surprising things from dad as we spend time with him this past week. Even though he is so weak and tired, he responds back to our voices the best that he can. Whenever we tell him we love him, he says, “ I love you too”. It is more whispered now and less audible, but we know he is still our loving dad. In response to a phone call when a granddaughter was telling him how much she missed him and remembered fun times with him, he said, “ Don’t pour it on too much now”. A little smirk even came in the corners of his mouth. While some of us were trying to remember a man’s name from way back in time, he hollered out from his bed, “ Leo. His name is Leo”. He is hearing us. He knows we are there. And that is a good thing and brings US comfort.
This is happening. We can’t change it. We need to use our energy and time to respect our dad. It is about him, along with our mom as they are connected in a way only they know. What is best for them? Are we honoring their wishes? There are no easy answers sometimes, but we can only live each day to the best of our ability and use our stamina for those things we can control. God will take care of the rest.
lbeerman68@gmail.com
